Who in this universe authorized you to speak for your entire state? How dare a small minority of people request that my state be allowed to secede from the union? Even if it were constitutionally possible to do so, for a state to request secession for all Texans or Missourians or Kansans, it would be necessary to hold an election to see what the majority of the state's citizens want. So, you want to secede for the entire population of the state, you hold a legal election. Then if the majority wants to seek secession, I'll move to a state where sanity rules the day.
But majority rule is the problem here, right? For the tantruming minority out there, majority rule is only good if the majority votes your way. Instead of ruling that people can vote at 18, 21, or whatever, we need to develop a litmus test for maturity.
I am a citizen of these United States of America. What states I have lived in are coincidental to my citizenship in the greatest country ever formed. In fact, I've lived in Illinois, Indiana, Florida, Missouri and Kansas. Comprendez-vous? A state is a small part of a great big wonderful piece of real estate that goes from sea to shining sea.
But I have a good idea for all of you malcontents. You don't like the land I love, then leave it. Whether you were born here, are naturalized or illegal, you may feel free to take a hike at any time! We grownups even have a word for it. It's called emigration. No, I didn't spell it wrong, it means the act of moving from one country to another and settling there. Get packing. You'll then be referred to as an expatriot. You won't pledge our flag or sing our songs anymore.
Let me make some suggestions. All you in the upper one per cent that don't like paying taxes here, just move to China, India and anywhere else you have found outsourcing helpful to your bottom line.
All you radical right religious creatures -- for you I suggest Afghanistan or some of the other Middle Eastern Countries. You might even want to help the Taliban stone people and kill their rebellious daughters for uncovering their heads, wearing makeup or for wanting to choose their own husbands. Your thinking hasn't evolved that far past them.
You who don't like the welfare programs here can move to a country where hoards of homeless and hungry surround you and impede your every step. I would suggest India for this, but they seem to be doing better than we are now that they have so many of our jobs.
Perhaps your major beef with majority rule would be quelled if you moved to China or North Korea. Do you fancy a dictatorship or Communism?
There's a reason masses of people risk their lives coming to our shores. It's because it's better here. We all have a vote, a say in our government. And just sometimes in a democracy, the other side wins.
You sports lovers out there use sports models for everything else, so use them here. Throwing a temper tantrum because the majority that won wasn't your team is called poor sportsmanship. That's bad business. Now pull yourselves together and let's work as a team. Your side won for eight straight years. Now it's time for the other side to have eight straight.
Just as in team sports, sportsmanship is the rule of the day, so in majority rule, maturity holds the sway!
Now remember -- don't secede, emigrate. Whatever you do, never again speak for me.